I love to go to the school early on the days that I eat lunch with Eleanor. It gives me a chance to observe her on the playground without her being aware that I am watching. I get to see a different Eleanor than I see at home. More often than not, I come way feeling sad. Why, you ask? It is because she doesn't have the childhood that I had. She doesn't go about life the way that I do.
Eleanor is a loner. Most of the times , I watch her playing by herself. She isn't like the other little girls that cluster together. She doesn't swarm to from one play thing to another with all the other girls her age. She does her own thing.
Today was no different, but I came away with a different perspective Every time that I have observed before, I assumed that she was unhappy or that something was wrong with the situation. Today, a small voice in my head reminded me that recess is always Eleanor's favorite part of the day. So, I looked a little closer. What I saw was a very happy little girl. She skipped and climbed. She swung high on the swing. All the time with a huge smile on her face. My child was happy in her own existence.
I was reminded that God made her perfect. He formed her personality. It is my job as a mom to allow that personality to bloom. So, what does it matter that her way isn't like my way. Eleanor is a happy little introvert. She doesn't feel like she is missing out on anything. She doesn't sit on the sidelines and watch all the other girls. She is living her life to the fullest.
What an eye opener for me. One of those "mom moments" that will be tucked away in my heart. The moment that I realized that it is okay to be a loner. It is okay not to have a swarm of friends. God made us all different and there is a place on the playground for us all.
