For those who know my mother, you know that she is a prayer warrior. I learned at a very young age to pray and to pray over everything. We prayed for the big things, but we also prayed for the small things.
When money was tight, we prayed before we headed to the store to buy a pair of shoes. We would pray that we would find the pair of shoes for the right price.
When an object would go missing in our home, we would stop and have an impromptu prayer service in the living room. We would pray that the Lord would lead us to the object.
When we were tired in the morning, we prayed for strength for the day.
We prayed and we prayed often.
Over the years, I have had a lot of people, even pastors, scoff at the praying over shoes. As if it was a bad thing to bother the Lord with such small issues. Often asking if God really cared if you found a pair of black dress shoes for $15.
Well, I found proof that he does! I nearly did a happy dance when I came across the story of the floating axehead in 2 Kings. In chapter 6, there is a pause in the story of Elisha to tell this story. Here is my paraphrase:
A group of prophets told Elisha that they thought their meeting place was too small. They wanted to build a bigger place. He told them to go for it and they invited him on the trip to gather the trees for building. While they were cutting down trees, one of the men's axehead fell into the water and of course it sank. The man cried out to God. He was upset because the axehead was borrowed. Elisha, working on behalf of God, asked him where is fell. Elisha proceeded to work a miracle to retrieve the axehead. God allowed that axehead to float!
Now, up until this point, Elisha had been prophesying to show people that God was real and that he was in control. Most of the time miracles like this would be preformed to prove to unbelievers that there was a God.
Not in this story. They were all believers. God had nothing to prove, but God heard the cry of one of his own and came to the rescue. I mean, it was an axehead! Yeah, the guy would have been in trouble for losing the borrowed axehead, but it wasn't the end of the world. This was a very small thing for the Lord to worry about.
It just makes me smile to read this story. God really does care about those small things that we pray about. He does hear and he does answer. He really does come to our rescue when we are searching high and low for that lost cell phone!
Take comfort in the fact that God does hear each and every prayer that is offered up to him. Nothing is too small for him to step in and help out. Not even an axehead!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
To be Perfectly Honest
I am actually very scared to put this out there in fear of the backlash that may come. But, if I want to continue to be honest with you all, I need to share so you guys can know how to pray for me. So I am going to risk sounding like a person with a complete eating disorder and write this blog.
After the year that I have had, I am having a really hard time with the amount of food that I am supposed/need to eat and also with gaining weight needed to have a healthy pregnancy.
The fact that I am having to eat at an almost constant pace throughout the day to consume the amount of calories that are needed terrifies me. What if I get used to eating all this food? What if it becomes a habit that I can't break when this pregnancy is over? There is a strange phenomenon that occurs when a person who has had weight loss surgery gets pregnant. You lose some of the restriction you once had in your stomach. It is very frightening to once be able to only consume a half of a sandwich and overnight being able to eat the whole thing. I am scared to death, even though I am told otherwise, that the restriction won't come back.
Then there is that dang scale. Oh, it is my enemy. The first few months of my pregnancy were great. I continued to lose weight and all was well. But in the last two months, that number has started creeping up. Now, I am only talking about 4 pounds. Crazy huh? I am still in the "negative" from where I started this pregnancy, but that number going up from any point is more than I can handle some days. I struggle with the feeling that I am doing what I have always done. Taking off the weight only to put it back on again.
I know it sounds so bad. I know you are shaking your head at me and probably think that I need therapy. But, I am really struggling. I will do what ever is necessary to ensure that this baby is healthy. I know that means that I need to continue to eat and gain weight. I just don't know how to deal with the emotional side of this. It is very hard for me to look at myself in the mirror. I see fat instead of a baby bump. I just never knew that it would be this hard to handle the diet and weight gain portion of it all! So, think what you may, but please be kind to me. I don't need criticism. I know how horrible it is for me to feel this way. But, I have always been 100% real on this blog and I feel like I should continue to be. This is a real part of life after weight loss surgery. Because of that, I will share.
After the year that I have had, I am having a really hard time with the amount of food that I am supposed/need to eat and also with gaining weight needed to have a healthy pregnancy.
The fact that I am having to eat at an almost constant pace throughout the day to consume the amount of calories that are needed terrifies me. What if I get used to eating all this food? What if it becomes a habit that I can't break when this pregnancy is over? There is a strange phenomenon that occurs when a person who has had weight loss surgery gets pregnant. You lose some of the restriction you once had in your stomach. It is very frightening to once be able to only consume a half of a sandwich and overnight being able to eat the whole thing. I am scared to death, even though I am told otherwise, that the restriction won't come back.
Then there is that dang scale. Oh, it is my enemy. The first few months of my pregnancy were great. I continued to lose weight and all was well. But in the last two months, that number has started creeping up. Now, I am only talking about 4 pounds. Crazy huh? I am still in the "negative" from where I started this pregnancy, but that number going up from any point is more than I can handle some days. I struggle with the feeling that I am doing what I have always done. Taking off the weight only to put it back on again.
I know it sounds so bad. I know you are shaking your head at me and probably think that I need therapy. But, I am really struggling. I will do what ever is necessary to ensure that this baby is healthy. I know that means that I need to continue to eat and gain weight. I just don't know how to deal with the emotional side of this. It is very hard for me to look at myself in the mirror. I see fat instead of a baby bump. I just never knew that it would be this hard to handle the diet and weight gain portion of it all! So, think what you may, but please be kind to me. I don't need criticism. I know how horrible it is for me to feel this way. But, I have always been 100% real on this blog and I feel like I should continue to be. This is a real part of life after weight loss surgery. Because of that, I will share.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Trust and Obey
We got word yesterday that it is a real possibility that Bryan may lose his job in the next month or so. I don't want to be too dramatic about this. There is a possibility that it may all work itself out and that he will be able to find the funding to continue where he his now. But, for the first time in our marriage, we had to have that hard talk about the future. It is uncertain and it is scary. So much more scary with a baby on the way.
I have had waves of calmness and waves of tears throughout the day. I know that God is in control. I know that at the right moment, God is going to step in and direct our paths. So, as of right now, all we can do as pray.
As I was praying today in my most sacred place, the shower, God didn't impress upon me a scripture but a song. A song that soothed all the worry. A song that gave me a course of action in this time of waiting.
Trust and Obey
For there is no other way
To be happy in Jesus
But to trust and obey
So simple. Right now I just need to trust. Trust that God has a perfect plan in store for us. Trust that the answer is going to come at the right time. Trust that this circumstance did not come as a surprise to my God.
Then, when the answer comes, we will need to obey. The answer might be a new job in town or across country. It might just be that this was simply a trial of our faith and no action will be required. I just know that what ever it will be, that we need to be able to obey.
Just join with me that this will not result in me having to move to Albuquerque, NM. For some reason, that seems like a death sentence to me! Seeing that Bryan's job is so specialized that there are only 5 or 6 cities in the country that we could move, it is a real fear! I much prefer my nice little home in Madison! So when you think about it, whisper a prayer for our future.
I have had waves of calmness and waves of tears throughout the day. I know that God is in control. I know that at the right moment, God is going to step in and direct our paths. So, as of right now, all we can do as pray.
As I was praying today in my most sacred place, the shower, God didn't impress upon me a scripture but a song. A song that soothed all the worry. A song that gave me a course of action in this time of waiting.
Trust and Obey
For there is no other way
To be happy in Jesus
But to trust and obey
So simple. Right now I just need to trust. Trust that God has a perfect plan in store for us. Trust that the answer is going to come at the right time. Trust that this circumstance did not come as a surprise to my God.
Then, when the answer comes, we will need to obey. The answer might be a new job in town or across country. It might just be that this was simply a trial of our faith and no action will be required. I just know that what ever it will be, that we need to be able to obey.
Just join with me that this will not result in me having to move to Albuquerque, NM. For some reason, that seems like a death sentence to me! Seeing that Bryan's job is so specialized that there are only 5 or 6 cities in the country that we could move, it is a real fear! I much prefer my nice little home in Madison! So when you think about it, whisper a prayer for our future.
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