Frailty of Life

It is so good to be home and settling into a life as a family of four. After an eight day stay in the NICU, Henry is doing great.  It is not how I imagined his birth story would go, but I know it is the birth story that God intended.  Throughout the last week I was reminded of so many important lessons.  The lessons of prayer, faith, and how to reach out and rely on others.  These lessons were all very helpful, but there is one that stands out in my mind.  The lesson of the frailty of life.

Psalm 139:16 states "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be".  As I sat for days in the NICU with Henry I was reminded of this over and over.  You see, Henry was what the NICU would call a "healthy" baby.  Yes, he had bad enough issues to be in there, but he was not critical.  He was not struggling to survive one more day.  Walking down the hallway of the NICU, I was reminded each time that some of those babies were doing just that.

I was talking to a nurse one particular night about how thankful I was that we were only dealing with severe acid reflux.  There were so many other things that could go wrong.  I asked her how she dealt with the loss of some these children.  She said that she had to trust that God was in control.  That each of these babies were in his hand and that he knew from the moment they were born just how long they would live.  That no matter how much they tried, these babies would only survive as long as God intended. 

Then another incident occurred while I was there.  One of the nurses that took care of Henry lost her 21 year old son suddenly.  When the call came in that her son had died, the whole staff of the NICU was dumbfounded.  How could a 21 year old die of a heart attack?  It just didn't seem right.  I was reminded again that we are not in control.  Only God knows when our last breath will be taken.

Little did I know, that I would be reminded again of this very lesson just a day later.  My aunt and uncle visited Henry and me one night.  They had just come from a funeral of a relative.  An man in his 80s that had lived a long life.  I don't know the details of his life, but it was lived to the "expected" old age.  Death seems a little more okay when you have lived that long.  But, nonetheless, it is still death and it was unknown when he would take his last breath.

It was a sobering lesson to be reminded of during my stay.  It made me so grateful for all the people in my life.  Grateful for every moment that I get to spend with those I love.  But isn't it funny that as I was basking in the happiness of my sweet Henry's birth into this world, I was also reminded that one day he will die.  I hope and pray that he lives a long and beautiful life.  But, I am also comforted in knowing that it is all in God's hands.  Henry's days, as well as yours and mine, are numbered. 

So enjoy life and those you love.  Take nothing for granted.  But most importantly, make sure you know where you are going when this life ends.  You never know when your last breath will be taken.