I survived my first Thanksgiving post surgery. I did very well, I must say. I didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to eat. I withstood the temptation to eat sweets! I really can't believe that I made it through the whole holiday weekend without one bite of dessert. There was a lot of prayer that went into this weekend and there were times that those prayers were the only thing that sustained me.
That being said, I still gained 1 1/2 pounds. I don't know why. It could be water weight. It could be that I ate too many carbohydrates and not enough protein. It could be a million different things. I have been through them all in my head and for the life of me I can't figure it out. I would have had to consumed over five thousand extra calories over the weekend to mathematically gain that weight. That is not possible. So, all I can do is look at that scale and know that I had a good week. The number does not reflect what a successful holiday I had.
I do feel like I need to regroup. I need to get my head back in this game and keep in the right directions. So forgive me if I do a little review of what I know is true.
Can I lose this weight under my own power? No, only through the strength of God can I achieve this.
Does a gain on the scale mean that you are a failure? No, not if you know that you did everything you could to be successful at weight loss. Step away from the scale and know that you did not sabotage yourself.
Is this journey about me and what I can gain from it? No, it is so that God can receive all the glory when others see what a great work he has done in me.
A friend posted this on their Facebook today. I thought it was so appropriate. Charles Spurgeon: "Humility is to feel that we have no power of ourselves, but that it all cometh from God.
And then I found this verse. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10
What a great reminder to me that I can not do this through my own power. I have to constantly put myself in a state of humility before the Lord. I have to be reminded time and time again that it is only through him that I will be successful. Without that, I will surely fail.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
The Tongue
Ever had one of those days that you are hit with the same lesson from God over and over again. Today has already been one of those days for me. Within the last hour, God has put in my path a lesson about the tongue in two different ways.
First of all, it was in my Journey magazine. This quote struck me and I read it over and over again. Once something is said, it can't be unsaid. When we bless or curse, our words are more than just words.
Isn't that true! I can still hear cruel words that were spoken to me over 20 years ago. They surface in my heart at times when I am doubting who I am and make me struggle even more to keep a grasp of what is true.
Secondly, I turn to the next chapter in James this morning and it was about taming the tongue. But no man can tame the tongue. it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:8
I find it interesting that it says that no man can tame the tongue. So, no matter how hard we work at it, our tongue will always have the ability to be used as a weapon of destruction. Beyond anything else we can do, it is our words that often hurt people the most. Read it again. It is full of deadly poison.
This lesson from God hits a little to close to home. Not only have I been hurt by the tongue countless times, I know that I have also hurt others too many times to count with my tongue. I can replay scenarios in my mind of conversations I have had with others that I purposefully have used my tongue to damage their souls. It is something that comes very natural to me. You push me in a corner and I am going to come out swinging. Only I don't use my hands, but my tongue. How many times has this been referred to as the "wrath of Mary" by my friends.
So today, my toes have gotten stepped on in a mighty way. I think a couple might have actually been broken in the process! I pray that God helps me to remember these verses as we go into this season of gathering with family and friends. Oh, be careful little mouth what you say. For the Father up above, is looking down with love. Oh, be careful little mouth what you say!
First of all, it was in my Journey magazine. This quote struck me and I read it over and over again. Once something is said, it can't be unsaid. When we bless or curse, our words are more than just words.
Isn't that true! I can still hear cruel words that were spoken to me over 20 years ago. They surface in my heart at times when I am doubting who I am and make me struggle even more to keep a grasp of what is true.
Secondly, I turn to the next chapter in James this morning and it was about taming the tongue. But no man can tame the tongue. it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:8
I find it interesting that it says that no man can tame the tongue. So, no matter how hard we work at it, our tongue will always have the ability to be used as a weapon of destruction. Beyond anything else we can do, it is our words that often hurt people the most. Read it again. It is full of deadly poison.
This lesson from God hits a little to close to home. Not only have I been hurt by the tongue countless times, I know that I have also hurt others too many times to count with my tongue. I can replay scenarios in my mind of conversations I have had with others that I purposefully have used my tongue to damage their souls. It is something that comes very natural to me. You push me in a corner and I am going to come out swinging. Only I don't use my hands, but my tongue. How many times has this been referred to as the "wrath of Mary" by my friends.
So today, my toes have gotten stepped on in a mighty way. I think a couple might have actually been broken in the process! I pray that God helps me to remember these verses as we go into this season of gathering with family and friends. Oh, be careful little mouth what you say. For the Father up above, is looking down with love. Oh, be careful little mouth what you say!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Blessed
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed. James 1:22-25
For so long I was like the first person in the verses above. I knew that my body was the temple of God and that I should take care of it. I had read it so many times. Yet, I would simply walk away from God's word and forget what it told me to do.
Now, I am like the second person. I finally got it. Six month ago today, I acted upon God's leading and had my surgery. I had decided to face what had been shown to me as truth(through scripture and with the help of Made to Crave). No longer could I sit by and let my addiction destroy God's temple. I found freedom. Sweet freedom from the guilt of my actions. Freedom from the holds of my addiction.
Now I must continue on in my journey. Never forgetting to give thanks to my Lord for all that he has taught me and for all the blessings he has poured out in my life in the last six months. Oh, how blessed I am!
I am so glad that I stopped circling that mountain of food addiction! I am glad that I finally realized that I needed to take action. I needed to face my sin and follow the instructions I found in the bible!
As of today I have lost 79 pounds and 57 inches. I am starting to see the consequences of living in sin for so long. My skin in saggy. This irreversible damage that I have done to God's temple is a daily reminder of where I have come from. It saddens me to think of how careless I was for so many years. But, it must have saddened my Lord even more.
I still see "yuck", but I pray that one day I will see beauty. I have found it is harder to love yourself than to lose the weight. The inner soul work is really the hardest. But, with each passing day, I am trying to embrace God's love for me.
Lord, thank you for bringing me this far. May your glory and your faithfulness be evident in this journey. You haven't left me even for a moment and for that I am so grateful. Please, continue to draw me to you as we finish this weight loss journey and beyond that point. Help me to conquer this last 40 pounds of weight. Most of all, help me to find the beauty that you see in me. Amen.
For so long I was like the first person in the verses above. I knew that my body was the temple of God and that I should take care of it. I had read it so many times. Yet, I would simply walk away from God's word and forget what it told me to do.
Now, I am like the second person. I finally got it. Six month ago today, I acted upon God's leading and had my surgery. I had decided to face what had been shown to me as truth(through scripture and with the help of Made to Crave). No longer could I sit by and let my addiction destroy God's temple. I found freedom. Sweet freedom from the guilt of my actions. Freedom from the holds of my addiction.
Now I must continue on in my journey. Never forgetting to give thanks to my Lord for all that he has taught me and for all the blessings he has poured out in my life in the last six months. Oh, how blessed I am!
I am so glad that I stopped circling that mountain of food addiction! I am glad that I finally realized that I needed to take action. I needed to face my sin and follow the instructions I found in the bible!
As of today I have lost 79 pounds and 57 inches. I am starting to see the consequences of living in sin for so long. My skin in saggy. This irreversible damage that I have done to God's temple is a daily reminder of where I have come from. It saddens me to think of how careless I was for so many years. But, it must have saddened my Lord even more.
Lord, thank you for bringing me this far. May your glory and your faithfulness be evident in this journey. You haven't left me even for a moment and for that I am so grateful. Please, continue to draw me to you as we finish this weight loss journey and beyond that point. Help me to conquer this last 40 pounds of weight. Most of all, help me to find the beauty that you see in me. Amen.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Food is not the Enemy
All of my life I have considered food as the enemy. Food is what made me fat. Food is what caused my health problems. Food is what made me so miserable in my life. Now, I am learning that food is not the enemy. It is what I do with food that is the problem. Food is given to us by God to nourish his temple.
...food, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. 1 Timothy 4:3b-5
These verses remind me that I shouldn't wage a war against food. I should wage a war against my addiction of food. That I can eat and enjoy what God has created for me to nourish my body without guilt, if it is done for nourishment. That means no restrictions on what foods I can and can not eat. Sounds great, huh?
Here is the tricky part. That does not include this processed junk that we call food today. God did not create Oreos. God created bananas.
The funny thing is, I used to look at bananas and oreos in the same light. Bananas are "bad" fruits that should not be eaten.. How many diets have I been on that have placed restrictions on my in this way!! How many times have I turned away God's creation thinking that it was going to make me fatter.
I have a new way of looking at it. If God created it, then he meant for me to enjoy it IF I am using it for my nourishment. Because we all know by now that it is still a sin to eat a banana if you are using it as a replacement for a relationship with God!
A life living without guilt of what I eat. Now, that is a new idea!
...food, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. 1 Timothy 4:3b-5
These verses remind me that I shouldn't wage a war against food. I should wage a war against my addiction of food. That I can eat and enjoy what God has created for me to nourish my body without guilt, if it is done for nourishment. That means no restrictions on what foods I can and can not eat. Sounds great, huh?
Here is the tricky part. That does not include this processed junk that we call food today. God did not create Oreos. God created bananas.
The funny thing is, I used to look at bananas and oreos in the same light. Bananas are "bad" fruits that should not be eaten.. How many diets have I been on that have placed restrictions on my in this way!! How many times have I turned away God's creation thinking that it was going to make me fatter.
I have a new way of looking at it. If God created it, then he meant for me to enjoy it IF I am using it for my nourishment. Because we all know by now that it is still a sin to eat a banana if you are using it as a replacement for a relationship with God!
A life living without guilt of what I eat. Now, that is a new idea!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Ruler of My Heart
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:15-17
I awoke before the alarm this morning. As I was lying in bed looking at the early morning light hit the yellow leaves through my window, I felt peace. Such a peace that it made me stop and dwell on it. I had the realization that this peace is something that I did without for a long time. I don't know when this peace settled into my soul, but I am glad today that I became aware of it.
For such a long time my soul always seemed in turmoil. I just couldn't get it to settle down. I seemed to always be at war in my relationship with God. Always in this tug of war with what I thought I needed and what God was telling me.
Then almost 6 months ago, I laid down my idol. Nothing has been the same since that day. Slowly but surely, God has been working. The verses above rang so true this morning. There is a peace that rules my heart. A peace in knowing that I am dwelling in my Lord. It is an amazing feeling. One that I am in awe of and I am so grateful that I have found. It is truly a peace that passes all understanding.
I also loved that we are told to do EVERYTHING in the name of Jesus. I am so glad that I chose to take this route in my journey. Dedicating every decision and every victory to Jesus. What an experience to be able to look to my Lord and know that without him, I would never have been this successful. So, like the simple 3 word sentence in the verses above, I will be thankful. Thankful for God's goodness. For his peace that he gives freely. For his word that dwells in my heart. Most of all, for the gift of grace that he poured out to me on the cross. Thank you, Jesus.
I awoke before the alarm this morning. As I was lying in bed looking at the early morning light hit the yellow leaves through my window, I felt peace. Such a peace that it made me stop and dwell on it. I had the realization that this peace is something that I did without for a long time. I don't know when this peace settled into my soul, but I am glad today that I became aware of it.
For such a long time my soul always seemed in turmoil. I just couldn't get it to settle down. I seemed to always be at war in my relationship with God. Always in this tug of war with what I thought I needed and what God was telling me.
Then almost 6 months ago, I laid down my idol. Nothing has been the same since that day. Slowly but surely, God has been working. The verses above rang so true this morning. There is a peace that rules my heart. A peace in knowing that I am dwelling in my Lord. It is an amazing feeling. One that I am in awe of and I am so grateful that I have found. It is truly a peace that passes all understanding.
I also loved that we are told to do EVERYTHING in the name of Jesus. I am so glad that I chose to take this route in my journey. Dedicating every decision and every victory to Jesus. What an experience to be able to look to my Lord and know that without him, I would never have been this successful. So, like the simple 3 word sentence in the verses above, I will be thankful. Thankful for God's goodness. For his peace that he gives freely. For his word that dwells in my heart. Most of all, for the gift of grace that he poured out to me on the cross. Thank you, Jesus.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Perseverance
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
Perseverance is such a big word. One that get stuck in my mouth and is hard for me to even say correctly. It means the steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose. I will confess to you that the month of October was a hard one. The scale was barely moving and I was getting discouraged.. For the entire month, I only lost 5 pounds. I couldn't comprehend it. If you look at weight loss in mathematical terms, I should have easily doubled that amount.
Because I didn't like my situation, I decided to control every aspect of my diet and exercise. I doubled my amount of exercise(sometimes to over 2 hours a day). I made sure I was eating the right food. Yet, it didn't work. Every week, I stepped off that scale in disappointment. T
hen something crazy happened. I lost control! I hurt my knee while playing soccer with Eleanor and I missed exercise for most of last week. Then, Eleanor got sick and it has thrown my exercise schedule off for this week, as well. I haven't been to the gym in over a week!
I was also bombarded with temptation. I had to make decisions daily to walk away from food that two months ago didn't even bother me. The cookies in the cabinet were calling my name. Cupcakes sat on the counter staring at me. The Halloween candy whispered to me in a time of weakness. All I could do is cling. Cling to my Jesus. Cling to his strength to make wise decisions in my food choices. Because of this, I have claimed victory over victory this week in the name of Jesus.
God is teaching me to persevere even when I am not seeing results. Even when I don't feel like it. I must persevere and cling to him.
That being said, guess what just happened to me. I found the hidden scale(Yep, I was a bad girl and went on a treasure hunt! Bryan has to find a new hiding spot!). I stepped on it in the middle of the day(I don't know what I was thinking) and I had lost 4 pounds in just 2 days! WHAT!?!?!?!?!
*SIGH* Just when I am going to learn that God is in control! I can say that this student was just taught the same lesson for the millionth time. I can't do this with my strength and when I am in control. I can only do it with the strength of Jesus and the faith that he is in control.
Perseverance is such a big word. One that get stuck in my mouth and is hard for me to even say correctly. It means the steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose. I will confess to you that the month of October was a hard one. The scale was barely moving and I was getting discouraged.. For the entire month, I only lost 5 pounds. I couldn't comprehend it. If you look at weight loss in mathematical terms, I should have easily doubled that amount.
Because I didn't like my situation, I decided to control every aspect of my diet and exercise. I doubled my amount of exercise(sometimes to over 2 hours a day). I made sure I was eating the right food. Yet, it didn't work. Every week, I stepped off that scale in disappointment. T
hen something crazy happened. I lost control! I hurt my knee while playing soccer with Eleanor and I missed exercise for most of last week. Then, Eleanor got sick and it has thrown my exercise schedule off for this week, as well. I haven't been to the gym in over a week!
I was also bombarded with temptation. I had to make decisions daily to walk away from food that two months ago didn't even bother me. The cookies in the cabinet were calling my name. Cupcakes sat on the counter staring at me. The Halloween candy whispered to me in a time of weakness. All I could do is cling. Cling to my Jesus. Cling to his strength to make wise decisions in my food choices. Because of this, I have claimed victory over victory this week in the name of Jesus.
God is teaching me to persevere even when I am not seeing results. Even when I don't feel like it. I must persevere and cling to him.
That being said, guess what just happened to me. I found the hidden scale(Yep, I was a bad girl and went on a treasure hunt! Bryan has to find a new hiding spot!). I stepped on it in the middle of the day(I don't know what I was thinking) and I had lost 4 pounds in just 2 days! WHAT!?!?!?!?!
*SIGH* Just when I am going to learn that God is in control! I can say that this student was just taught the same lesson for the millionth time. I can't do this with my strength and when I am in control. I can only do it with the strength of Jesus and the faith that he is in control.
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