Reflections of the 300 lb. Woman

I have had an interesting day.  I have noticed a lot of things about myself.  It started this morning when I pulled out a t-shirt that my mother-in-law bought me.  I held it up and thought that it looked mighty small.  I looked at the tag and it was a Large.  Uh-oh, I knew that I needed a X-Large.  I sighed and tried it on anyway.  Guess what?  IT FIT!  Now, I have purchased Large shirts in the past, but I don't think I will ever get used to not being in a 2XL and having them fit like a glove.  I wonder if I will always see myself as that 300 lb. woman.  The mirror never reflects what I expect it.  I am often shocked when I see pictures of myself.  That is not how I see myself in my mind's eye.
Then, I headed to the kitchen to grab a snack this afternoon.  I immediately went for a turkey burger patty and warmed it up.  I chuckled to myself as I was eating it.  Did I ever think that I would get used to eating this way?  Much less imagine that it would seem NORMAL.  If I were to tell that 300 lb. woman that she would adjust and actually enjoy eating this way, I am sure she would laugh in my face. 
Lastly, I sat waiting on Eleanor's bus this afternoon and it hit me that I am almost to my 2 year anniversary of my surgery.  I started to beat myself up because I still have 25 pounds to lose.  I stopped myself because I would rather have Henry than have met my goal.  How is it even possible that my life is where it is today?  I never, ever would have imagined how greatly God would bless me when I took that first step to trust him and I enter that operating room. 
Oh, I still want to lose that 25 pounds and I will do everything I can, through God's strength, to get there.  Only there is one other change that has occurred within me.  I am no longer obsessed with the scale.  I have watched for the last 6 weeks as the number has remained the same.  I have stepped off the scale each time very calmly thinking to myself that I will not be defeated by that number.  I can reflect on each day of those weeks and know that I have honored God through my eating.  That reflection can be as big of a victory to me now as weight loss. 
God has completely changed me from the inside out.  I am so grateful for all the things he has done.  I am still amazed at this continuing journey.  It may take me another 2 years to reach my weight goal, but I know that God is in control.  I will get there when he wants me to.