Accepting the "No"

After another month of missed period and negative preganacy test, I am finally to the point of being done.  I finally understand that God's answer to Bryan's and my prayers is in fact, "NO".  God is not going to give us another child.  We have decided to stop trying.  I can't handle the roller coaster anymore. 
It is evident in all the failed attempts, that it is not God's will for our lives.  We are meant to be a family of three.  I can't believe it has taken me 5 years to get here, but at least I am here now. 
It isn't easy to accept this answer.  I have been crying my eyes out all morning long. (It didn't help that the well meaning dental hygentist asked if we wanted more children and I almost lost it in the chair).  But, God will bring us through this. 
I just would like to ask for some prayers.  Pray that God will heal the heartbreak.  That we will continue to be reminded of the amazing blessing that Eleanor is in our life.  Pray for that sweet Eleanor that wants a sibling so bad.  Pray that we will have the words to explain that it is not going to happen.  Pray that one day we will understand why the answer had to be "No".  That one day we will understand why the blessing was withheld.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowlege him and he will make your paths straight.  Prov. 3:5-6

God has his reasons even if we don't understand them.  It is time to move on.