Peace Be With You

Yesterday we had a guest speaker at church(Forgive me that I don't remember his name.  I am terrible at remembering names.  At times, I don't even remember friends names!).  The answer to my recent struggles of self doubt and self loathing came through loud and clear.  One simple statement from Jesus, brought it all back into perspective.
It comes from John 20 after the Resurrection of Jesus.  He appears to his fearful disciples and the first thing out of his mouth is "Peace be with you" John 20:19 
I was reminded that where Jesus is, there is peace.  If you take even a step away from the Savior, your peace will start to waiver.  Perfect peace is found in the presence of the Lord.
As I reflected on my week, I realized that I had gotten comfortable in my walk with God.  Started having the "I have got this under control" attitude.  That is when all the bad feelings started creeping in.  I started thinking that because I was walking with the Lord, that I could be in control again.  That I didn't need as much "support" from him.  And that, my friend, was a pure lie from Satan.  I can never do it on my own.  Not a single second of my day can be handled without the presence of Jesus.  Why?  Because a life will never be lived in peace, if the Lord is not close by. 
Flash forward to this morning.  I step on the scale.  Then step off.  Step back on just to make sure I was seeing it correct.  Yep, weight gain.  For a brief moment, the flood of failure and total disappointment wanted to creep in.  I took a deep breathe and reminded myself that it was a pure reflection of my attitude this past week.  Why do I have to follow the rules?  I have this under control!  Slowly slipping back into a high carbohydrate diet.  Thinking that the rules didn't apply to me.  But, oh yes they do.  This attitude can be directed back to my steps away from Christ.  I had seemed to have forgotten that the Lord is in control of this process.  The Lord will not share his praise.  Weight loss is not something in which I am succeeding at on my own.  The Lord is allowing this to take place for his glory alone.  It was time for a reality check.
Today this is my prayer.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.  Psalm 51:10-12