Last night I had a pruning session with my Lord. I don't know about you, but it seems that when God has work to do on me, it is usually in the wee hours of the morning. Maybe it is because it is the only time when I am truly still, quiet and not able to "get away" from the painful process.
It is during this session that the Lord decided to take a hold of those roots of bitterness sprouting around my tree and the shoots of an angry and disgruntled spirit growing from my trunk and deal with them.
You see, I am in a situation that I have been growing more and more unhappy with by the day. A situation that I have wanted to just walk away from for some time. It has become something that I loath to have to even think about, much less put myself into each and every week. Slowly anger, bitterness, and frustration have built in a place that once produced joy and happiness. I have not been able to find the answer to the solution. Do I walk away? Do I let my feeling be made known, even though they will be cast aside? Do I sit by and do nothing?
Last night, after much wrestling with God, I have made a step in the right direction. I have begun to pray this simple prayer. "Lord, change me, change the situation, or move me on." I have come to realize that it is not always the answer to pack up your bags and dust your shoes off at the door(even though that is my instinct). It may be the answer in this case, but I am going to allow the Lord to make that decision. I am aware that it may be the decision to make a change in my heart and I am open for that change. It just feels good to take the weight off of my shoulders and realize that I don't have to find the solution. God knows the outcome and he will be the one to make it for me.
So, after a very sleepless night, I can now say that I am left a little sore from conviction, but I have peace that my God is in control.
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