Gentle and Quiet Spirit

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.  For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.  They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master.  You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.  1 Peter 3:3-6

I have always struggled with these verses because I couldn't grasp the meaning of gentle and quiet spirit.  I would always feel conflicted because you all know that my personality is not gentle and quiet.  I am no Michelle Duggar!  I know so many people that have what I consider a gentle personality and I can not even pretend to be part of their club.  So, I have wrestled with why God would give me the personality that he gave me and then ask me to be meek and gentle.  I just didn't get it.  I mean for years I have been wondering this!  I have even tried to be the meek and gentle wife and friend and it always ends in disaster.
Then it hit me this morning.  I was skipping over the word SPIRIT and replacing it with PERSONALITY.  Bingo!  That is where I was going wrong and getting discouraged.  God doesn't want me to change my personality, but rather my spirit.  He wants me to change the way that I react and deal with him.
I looked up the word gentle in the dictionary.  A spirit that is gentle is one that is easily managed and guided.  It is docile.  I get it.  I finally understand!  God wants my beauty to come from a spirit that is willing to be managed and guided by him.  He doesn't want me to fight him at every turn.  He wants me to peacefully(quiet spirit) follow his directions. 
Peter then gives us ways that we can train our spirit to be gentle and quiet.  We are to put our hope in  God, do what is right, and do not give way to fear.  Sounds simple enough, but isn't it so tough!  Well, it is for me.  To put my hope in the Lord and to have faith are hard for me.  But, they are hard because I am fearful. 
So, my prayer is that God will create in me a gentle and quiet spirit.  That I may learn to hope in him and that my fear will be controlled through the truth of the Word.  That I will do what I know is right and I will gently let the Lord manage the big and the small things.  In time, I hope that my beauty will shine forth.