I know for some of you the word addict may be a harse word. You may think, oh Mary, don't be so hard on yourself. You just love food. What is so wrong with that? Well, the definition of addiction is this: persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful. Food is NOT harmful in and of itself. But look closer....I am a compulsive overeater. I compulsively eat quanities and types of food that I know cause harm to my body. Therefore, as harsh as it is. I am an addict.
When I first came to this realization I didn't know what to do. Do I go to rehab? I mulled over the idea and even asked Bryan at one point if he thought I needed to go. After a lot of prayer the answer was no. God then layed upon my heart another truth. I had a god that wasn't God!! What??? How could I have one? But you see, food is a god for me. In fact my relationship with food is more complex and satisfying that my relationship with God! (Ouch!). You shall have no other gods before me. Deuteronomy 5:7. Great, not only am I an addict, but now I have broken one of the Ten Commandments. Way to go, Mary!
So I did the only thing I knew to do and I fell on my knees before the cross(well actually I just belly flopped across my bed) and I cried out for forgiveness. I cried and confessed to my Lord how I had failed. Then I got up and praised the Lord for the forgiveness that only his blood can give.
So know it was time for action!! I picked up the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst and started to dig in. But something was missing from my action plan. I had this nudge to go get the book off my nightstand. You know, the Bible. The book that doesn't move except on Sundays. You see, I haven't actively read my bible in over a year(shhh...don't tell my secret! It might ruin my image!). I had lost sight of the importance of pouring over God's word. Now, I know how to do some praying! And believe me, I pray constantly. But stupid little me had forgotten that God answers our prayers most of the time thru the use of scripture. No wonder I feel like God doesn't hear me!
So with Made to Crave in one hand and the bible in the other I set off to find some answers on how to overcome my addiction. This was the first nugget God gave me. You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north! Deuteronomy 2:3. Strange verse I know, but sit with it for a minute. I have done the same diet, same excercise, same yo-yoing with my weight for over 20 years. It was time to give that up and go in another direction. That direction led me to weight loss surgery.
What direction would it lead you in? You see the great thing about scripture is that it can lead you somewhere else!! The point is IT IS TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE. A CHANGE THAT WILL GLORIFY OUR LORD! I pray that you will stop circling and turn north!
WOW! I love to read about when God answers the prayers of others. I have so many, but sometimes I doubt that He is answering for everyone. I totally see how that verse helped you to see that the surgery was right for you at this time.
ReplyDeleteI will admit that I had never heard of it, but I read up on it and it sounds much safer than what my neighbor had done - the bypass, and what my other friend had done. After seeing Heather's trauma and such, I am praying for you to sail through this without ANY complications what so ever. Though, this DOES sound like a MUCH better option. {HUG}