The Birthday Cake

Yesterday was Bryan's birthday.  The birthday cake was my biggest fear.  Would I give in and eat it?  Would it really matter if I did?  When it came time to cut the cake, my anxiety was high.  My drug was right in front of me.  I haven't had dessert of any kind in 3 months.  The moment was here, do I walk away or eat it and risk the addiction coming back in full force. Sounds crazy doesn't it.  You would assume that I was talking about cocaine and not cake.  But that is the effect that it has on me.
I am proud to say that I walked away.  I didn't even lick the icing off my fingers.  In fact, I headed straight to the sink to wash it off like it was poison.  It was 3 minutes of temptation and then it was over. 
Bryan and I were talking this morning about how far I have come in 3 months.  How much God has taught me. Three months ago, the evening would have played out totally different.  It would have gone two ways.  I would have either indulged myself in a huge piece of cake(not to mention a huge meal or even possibly eaten with no regard all day because it was a celebration day) or I would have denied myself and been angry at my family because I couldn't have the cake.
If I would have denied myself I would have been consumed by the thought of the cake all day.   Consumed with the desire for it.  Consumed by the thought of what I was missing.  There would have been a major war going on within me just to eat it.  And honestly, I would have finally given in.  There was no control when the desire for that forbidden food was in front of me.
Now, I know there is a season for everything.  That all food is permissible, but it may not always be beneficial.  I know I am allowed to eat that cake if I want to.  But I also know, that it could have possibly gotten me so off course that it was not worth me taking a bite.  God has conditioned me in the last few months to realize that food is just food.  It can not be the master of my life or my thoughts.
It was evident last night of just how far God has brought this crazy food addict. 
I love what I found in Matthew this morning.  Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes? .....Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.   Matthew 6:25 and 33
On my three month anniversary, this is where God has led me.  I see that life is more important that food.  It no longer controls my day, my mood, or my decisions.  I know seek God and his righteousness. 
It is amazing to see that step by step, and moment by moment, God is molding me into a beautiful creature that is living for him. 
As of this morning, I have lost 46 pounds.  Glory to God in the highest for the work that is being done in me!  Today, I will praise the Lord for bringing me out of captivity.