With Bryan being out of town this week, the responsibility of taking care of Eleanor has been completely on my shoulders. It is weeks like this that I am amazed and in awe of how single parents do it. My house is a wreck and my nerves are frayed. How in the world do they even do it? I want to say right now that God has some special jewels to go into the crowns of single parents when they get to heaven! My hat is off to you!
That being said, I have been feeling a little selfish. I just want some "me time". Can't I just watch what I want to on the television? Can't you just get yourself something to drink? Do you have to keep me company in the bathroom? These questions and many others are flooding my mind in the last few days.
How about these questions that we ask God. Do you really want me to volunteer to do THAT job at the church? I really don't enjoy doing it. Do you really want me to be nice to that person? They have wronged me so many times. Can't you convict someone else to step up to the plate and fill the role? Why do they get all the blessings and I get stuck with the struggles? Can't you just work that out for my benefit, God?
You see, we are all about fulfilling our own interests. What seems "fair" in our eyes. For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. Philippians 2:21 It is so hard to take a step back and recognize this about ourselves. It is something that we all struggle with. EVERYONE looks out for his own interest, Paul says.
But, I can't just throw my hands up and say, "Oh well, that is how God made me!". For we are also told to practice humility.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2: 3&4
Man, sometimes it is hard being a christian! No wonder Jesus is the only one that ever got it right! Yesterday I learned that I need to keep my mouth shut and today I learned that I have to but the interest of others before my own. I am starting to realize what it means to "die to one self". It may not be easy, but with God's power in me, anything is possible. And when I fail, then grace is there to fill in the gap!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Keep Your Mouth Shut
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
I have to giggle to myself as I read this verse this morning. It brings back some college day memories. I discipled 3 girls when I was at the University of Montevallo. I can remember that we decided to memorize this verse and say it every time we started to talk about someone in a way that was not edifying. I see in my minds eye how one of use would start in on a conversation and another one would scream out this verse. It was a verse that was repeated often during a day. That is a given when you are living in a dorm full of girls!
I definitely need this verse to remind me to keep my mouth shut. My mouth is my worst enemy. It gets me into a LOT of trouble. Sometimes it is my pure honesty and other times it is simply the tone of my voice that gets me into trouble. On the other hand, it is often just my lack of regard of another person when I am "passing along information". (Maybe we just won't call it gossiping today.)
I have often times prayed to God that he would give me a gentle and quiet spirit. One that would not feel the need to right the wrongs of the world. A spirit that would not need to speak out at injustices that I see. One that could simply keep her mouth shut at all times. . But, then I realized that I have the gift of prophecy, so all those things that I want to change are the very gifts that God has given me. But, I do have to pray that those gifts are kept under control of the Spirit, not of myself.
That is where this verse comes in. I need a daily reminder to just shut my mouth. Strive for that gentle and quiet spirit that can be given to me. If only, I could make it through a day without sinning with my mouth. I don't even know if I can make it through an hour! But, it is worth a try.
I have to giggle to myself as I read this verse this morning. It brings back some college day memories. I discipled 3 girls when I was at the University of Montevallo. I can remember that we decided to memorize this verse and say it every time we started to talk about someone in a way that was not edifying. I see in my minds eye how one of use would start in on a conversation and another one would scream out this verse. It was a verse that was repeated often during a day. That is a given when you are living in a dorm full of girls!
I definitely need this verse to remind me to keep my mouth shut. My mouth is my worst enemy. It gets me into a LOT of trouble. Sometimes it is my pure honesty and other times it is simply the tone of my voice that gets me into trouble. On the other hand, it is often just my lack of regard of another person when I am "passing along information". (Maybe we just won't call it gossiping today.)
I have often times prayed to God that he would give me a gentle and quiet spirit. One that would not feel the need to right the wrongs of the world. A spirit that would not need to speak out at injustices that I see. One that could simply keep her mouth shut at all times. . But, then I realized that I have the gift of prophecy, so all those things that I want to change are the very gifts that God has given me. But, I do have to pray that those gifts are kept under control of the Spirit, not of myself.
That is where this verse comes in. I need a daily reminder to just shut my mouth. Strive for that gentle and quiet spirit that can be given to me. If only, I could make it through a day without sinning with my mouth. I don't even know if I can make it through an hour! But, it is worth a try.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Even Through the Bad Days
Yesterday was a really bad day for me. I was not feeling well and I was cranky because Bryan was leaving on business travel for the second week in a row. Now, understand this, I am a whimp when Bryan is traveling. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, I pout. I used to pride myself on being a strong independent woman before we were married. I lived on my own for years and took care of myself. Now, I have become this woman that needs my husband to help me through each day! I guess that isn't a bad thing, it just amazes me sometimes. I wonder where the old Mary went.
It was one thing after another. I was upset that church took up so much of my time with Bryan(I know it is horrible...I know you are thinking it.). Eleanor was in a bad mood because she hadn't slept well the night before. My endometriosis decided to rear its ugly head and I felt like I could do nothing but sit on a heating pad. So, my attitude stunk! Bryan and I fought. Eleanor and I fought. I was grumpy to say the least.
As I laid in bed last night, I had a long list of sins to ask for forgiveness. I thought, "Man I really blew it today. So much for this walk with God I have been on." Then I was reminded this morning.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is a gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8
I just want to thank God for that grace today. I am such a dirty creature. A creature that wants nothing of God, even when I think that I do. I fall on my face over and over again and God picks me up, dusts me off, and says "That is okay my child, keep going." I am thankful for my misteps and my mistakes. They are the things that bring me back to God's grace over and over again. It is a constant reminder of the cross and the gift that was given to us.
To the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace. Ephesians 1:6 & 7
May I always be reminded that it is NEVER anything I DO. I can not be "good enough" to deserve this grace. I can never walk a perfect enough life to deserve salvation. I will always fall short and so will you.
It was one thing after another. I was upset that church took up so much of my time with Bryan(I know it is horrible...I know you are thinking it.). Eleanor was in a bad mood because she hadn't slept well the night before. My endometriosis decided to rear its ugly head and I felt like I could do nothing but sit on a heating pad. So, my attitude stunk! Bryan and I fought. Eleanor and I fought. I was grumpy to say the least.
As I laid in bed last night, I had a long list of sins to ask for forgiveness. I thought, "Man I really blew it today. So much for this walk with God I have been on." Then I was reminded this morning.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is a gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8
I just want to thank God for that grace today. I am such a dirty creature. A creature that wants nothing of God, even when I think that I do. I fall on my face over and over again and God picks me up, dusts me off, and says "That is okay my child, keep going." I am thankful for my misteps and my mistakes. They are the things that bring me back to God's grace over and over again. It is a constant reminder of the cross and the gift that was given to us.
To the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace. Ephesians 1:6 & 7
May I always be reminded that it is NEVER anything I DO. I can not be "good enough" to deserve this grace. I can never walk a perfect enough life to deserve salvation. I will always fall short and so will you.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Reaping and Sowing
Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction. The one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:7-9
I have been on both sides of this verse. I was sowing to please my sinful nature and I was reaping the destruction. The destruction of my body and of my family. There were doctor's warnings of dangerous levels of triglycerides and the defeat of not being able to get pregnant. There were intimacy problems created because my weight was causing my back to hurt so much, that I slept on the couch every night to find comfort. Therefore, leaving my marital bed empty because of my sin. There was the lack of interest in taking care of both Eleanor and my home. I am still reaping the effects of the destruction. And, at times I don't see the end of those consequences in sight.
But, there is always hope. The flip side of this verse tells me so. If I am sowing to please the Spirit, IN THE PROPER TIME, I will reap a harvest of blessings. I just can't give up! I have to keep owning the destruction that I have caused and continue on in the hope of the coming harvest.
In a world of immediate gratification, this is a hard thing to do. I want to be healthy, enterjectic, and pregnant right now! Oh, but God's way is different. He want to keep me in this learning pattern until he has taught me all that I need, and then a harvest of blessing will be made know. And guess what, it may not be the blessings that I think I deserve. I may never be pregnant again. But, if I remain in him, the peace of that decision will be overwhelming. Just as now, the peace of only having one child fills me to my core.
Am I doing this for the blessings? NO! I am so glad that through this journey, my eyes have been taken off the external happenings of my body and are constantly being placed back on the internal changes of my heart. As thrilled as I am on the progress I am making in losing weight and getting healthy, the peace and joy of my new found walk with the Lord is far better and more satisfying.
And here is another thing. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. Galatians 6:4
I don't have to worry about what God is doing in anyone else's life. I just have to focus on myself and the things that God is doing in my life. I don't have to "keep up" with someone else. I don't have to follow the path of anyone else. God only cares about what I am doing to live for him. What a relief that is! For with blessings also comes struggles. I may not reap a blessing that someone else is given. But, I also should be thankful that I don't have the struggles that someone else has. In other words, I need to worry about myself and my relationship with God and keep my eyes off what he is doing for someone else!
I have been on both sides of this verse. I was sowing to please my sinful nature and I was reaping the destruction. The destruction of my body and of my family. There were doctor's warnings of dangerous levels of triglycerides and the defeat of not being able to get pregnant. There were intimacy problems created because my weight was causing my back to hurt so much, that I slept on the couch every night to find comfort. Therefore, leaving my marital bed empty because of my sin. There was the lack of interest in taking care of both Eleanor and my home. I am still reaping the effects of the destruction. And, at times I don't see the end of those consequences in sight.
But, there is always hope. The flip side of this verse tells me so. If I am sowing to please the Spirit, IN THE PROPER TIME, I will reap a harvest of blessings. I just can't give up! I have to keep owning the destruction that I have caused and continue on in the hope of the coming harvest.
In a world of immediate gratification, this is a hard thing to do. I want to be healthy, enterjectic, and pregnant right now! Oh, but God's way is different. He want to keep me in this learning pattern until he has taught me all that I need, and then a harvest of blessing will be made know. And guess what, it may not be the blessings that I think I deserve. I may never be pregnant again. But, if I remain in him, the peace of that decision will be overwhelming. Just as now, the peace of only having one child fills me to my core.
Am I doing this for the blessings? NO! I am so glad that through this journey, my eyes have been taken off the external happenings of my body and are constantly being placed back on the internal changes of my heart. As thrilled as I am on the progress I am making in losing weight and getting healthy, the peace and joy of my new found walk with the Lord is far better and more satisfying.
And here is another thing. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. Galatians 6:4
I don't have to worry about what God is doing in anyone else's life. I just have to focus on myself and the things that God is doing in my life. I don't have to "keep up" with someone else. I don't have to follow the path of anyone else. God only cares about what I am doing to live for him. What a relief that is! For with blessings also comes struggles. I may not reap a blessing that someone else is given. But, I also should be thankful that I don't have the struggles that someone else has. In other words, I need to worry about myself and my relationship with God and keep my eyes off what he is doing for someone else!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Life by the Spirit
I am at Mom and Dad's for a few days. I had decided last night that I was just going to sleep in. No need to get up early and get going. But, this morning I awoke to a voice inside my head saying, "I need you to get up. You need to spend time with me." So, out of obedience I pulled myself out of bed and looked at the clock 6:08am. (Remember, I had made the commitment to get up at six every morning.) I had to smile to myself. God is teaching me what it means to have self control and to be faithful to him. I can't satisfy my sinful desire to be lazy and also serve my Lord. They can't go hand in hand.
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit is what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. Galatians 5:16-17
So, what are the acts of a sinful nature? Paul lists them for us. Sexual immorality, debauchery (the eccessive pursuit of fleshly desires), impurity, idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, discord, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions (or cliques), envy, drunkenness, and orgies.
Now there are several of those that I can say, "whoooo, not doing those!" , but there are several that I have the tendency towards. Left to myself, I will fall upon them every time. If we are honest with ourselves, we all do. Don't let the big words fool you. These aren't just things that "really bad people" have issues with.
According the the scripture, I can't live in the Spirit of Christ and also have these things in my life. It is one or the other. It explains why for so long, as I lived with food as my idol, I didn't really feel the presence of the Lord in my life. I felt like my prayers hit the ceiling and I never had peace.
There is good news. If we are living in the Spirit, guess what we get! But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23
Oh, I want those!! That is why I pray that God will reveal to me when I am starting to edge my way back towards my evil desires. I don't want to be pulled away from peace and joy. I want to live a life of faithfulness and self-control.
There is only one way to do that. I have to daily, moment by moment, make the decision to deny my sinful nature and live in the Spirit. But, let me not forget that I can't do that without the strength that only God can give me! And, if I fall back into my into these sinful ways, thank the Lord for grace! Because he is my Savior, I can go to him for forgiveness and then begin walking in the Spirit again! Isn't that wonderful news! We aren't going to be able to get this right. But, the Lord is good and he has provided us with grace so that we can try again!
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit is what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. Galatians 5:16-17
So, what are the acts of a sinful nature? Paul lists them for us. Sexual immorality, debauchery (the eccessive pursuit of fleshly desires), impurity, idolatry and witchcraft, hatred, discord, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions (or cliques), envy, drunkenness, and orgies.
Now there are several of those that I can say, "whoooo, not doing those!" , but there are several that I have the tendency towards. Left to myself, I will fall upon them every time. If we are honest with ourselves, we all do. Don't let the big words fool you. These aren't just things that "really bad people" have issues with.
According the the scripture, I can't live in the Spirit of Christ and also have these things in my life. It is one or the other. It explains why for so long, as I lived with food as my idol, I didn't really feel the presence of the Lord in my life. I felt like my prayers hit the ceiling and I never had peace.
There is good news. If we are living in the Spirit, guess what we get! But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23
Oh, I want those!! That is why I pray that God will reveal to me when I am starting to edge my way back towards my evil desires. I don't want to be pulled away from peace and joy. I want to live a life of faithfulness and self-control.
There is only one way to do that. I have to daily, moment by moment, make the decision to deny my sinful nature and live in the Spirit. But, let me not forget that I can't do that without the strength that only God can give me! And, if I fall back into my into these sinful ways, thank the Lord for grace! Because he is my Savior, I can go to him for forgiveness and then begin walking in the Spirit again! Isn't that wonderful news! We aren't going to be able to get this right. But, the Lord is good and he has provided us with grace so that we can try again!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Accountability
You my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge in the sinful nature, rather serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command, "Love your neighbor as yourself." Galatians 5:13-14
God is using a lot of things to help me along my journey. One of them is accountability to two wonderful friends that are meeting with me each week. Through them, I have received love, support, and accountability. It is such a wonderful thing to know that these ladies are here for me throughout the week to lift me up in prayer and support me. It is amazing to see how God is transforming our lives each week. We all struggle with food addiction, but God is leading us each down an individual path.
The two parts of the verses above didn't seem to connect to me at first. Don't indulge in your sinful nature and love your neighbor as yourself. But, as I reflected on it, I saw my circumstances in it. Here I am trying not to indulge in my sinful nature and God has provided me with two friends that love me like they love themselves. They are helping me in this journey.
I just want to thank Amanda and Amanda for taking time out of your lives to walk through this journey with me. God is using you greatly in my life! So glad we are becoming Jesus Girls together!
God is using a lot of things to help me along my journey. One of them is accountability to two wonderful friends that are meeting with me each week. Through them, I have received love, support, and accountability. It is such a wonderful thing to know that these ladies are here for me throughout the week to lift me up in prayer and support me. It is amazing to see how God is transforming our lives each week. We all struggle with food addiction, but God is leading us each down an individual path.
The two parts of the verses above didn't seem to connect to me at first. Don't indulge in your sinful nature and love your neighbor as yourself. But, as I reflected on it, I saw my circumstances in it. Here I am trying not to indulge in my sinful nature and God has provided me with two friends that love me like they love themselves. They are helping me in this journey.
I just want to thank Amanda and Amanda for taking time out of your lives to walk through this journey with me. God is using you greatly in my life! So glad we are becoming Jesus Girls together!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
My Thorn
Today I am just so excited about what God has shown me. It is one of those days that God is just bringing it all together for me. I came across some verses this morning that I was shouting "Amen" to(Well, shouting in my head. No need to wake the house up!). Then, as I started my Made to Crave bible study, the same scriptures were talked about. Totally cool, huh? Want to know what the scripture was? I know you do!
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Oh, I love it! I am right their with you, Paul! How many times have I prayed that the Lord would take away my "thorn" of food addiction! I have prayed not understanding why God would allow me to have to struggle with this. But now I get it!
What if this battle with food isn't the curse we've always thought it to be? What if it's actually the very thing, if brought under control, that can lead us to a better understanding of God? -Lysa TerKerust (Made to Crave)
Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! I was given this struggle so that I would be weak. Through that weakness, if I rely on the Lord, I will be make strong and be able to bring it under control. Through that process, I am drawn so close to God that my relationship with him is deep and strong! Do you see it? I have this addiction, so that in turn I can have a relationship with my Savior! Without these struggles, I wouldn't need him! That is why Paul says that he DELIGHTS in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecution, and difficulties! Our circumstances will all be different. We will have different weaknesses and hardships, but God wants to use them to deepen our dependence on him!! That is the purpose for them!
Praise the Lord! Thank you leading me through the valley, so that I may see the view from the mountain top! God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good!
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
Oh, I love it! I am right their with you, Paul! How many times have I prayed that the Lord would take away my "thorn" of food addiction! I have prayed not understanding why God would allow me to have to struggle with this. But now I get it!
What if this battle with food isn't the curse we've always thought it to be? What if it's actually the very thing, if brought under control, that can lead us to a better understanding of God? -Lysa TerKerust (Made to Crave)
Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! I was given this struggle so that I would be weak. Through that weakness, if I rely on the Lord, I will be make strong and be able to bring it under control. Through that process, I am drawn so close to God that my relationship with him is deep and strong! Do you see it? I have this addiction, so that in turn I can have a relationship with my Savior! Without these struggles, I wouldn't need him! That is why Paul says that he DELIGHTS in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecution, and difficulties! Our circumstances will all be different. We will have different weaknesses and hardships, but God wants to use them to deepen our dependence on him!! That is the purpose for them!
Praise the Lord! Thank you leading me through the valley, so that I may see the view from the mountain top! God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Move It
Last week during my Made to Crave bible study, there was a chapter on exercise. I avoided that chapter like the plaque. I didn't want to be convicted to change this part of my life. You see, I HATE EXERCISE. All forms of exercise make me want to cry. I am not exaggerating. I loath exercise.
But, I read it and this is what stuck with me.
I can either be loyal to honoring the Lord with my body or loyal to my cravings, desires, and many excuses for not exercising. -Lysa TerKeurst
Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name together. Psalm 86:11-12
I can't have an undivided heart in this journey. I either want to honor God with my body, or I want to be loyal to my cravings. This solidified in my brain that exercise is part of taking care of God's temple. I have to do it. But, I still didn't want to....so it sat in my brain for a few days.
Then off to church I go. Pastor Zach was preaching on observing the sabbath. "Oh, good", I thought, "I do this, I can sit back and relax." Oh did God have different plans. As he was talking about observing the sabbath, he said that there are two parts to the story. Yes, we must rest one day, but we need to be working the other six. Since our lives are so sedentary, and we aren't using our bodies as God created them to be used, we need to be exercising them.
I had to laugh to myself. Before the sermon I was mulling over in my mind to make a commitment to exercise 4-5 times a week. And then in a way only God can do, he said, NOPE, you need to be doing it 6 days a week! Man, oh, Man!!!!
This still didn't change the fact that I wanted to exercise. I knew that I should, but I still had no desire. So, I asked the Lord to change my view. This is what he gave me.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Psalm 16:3
I have to do this for the Lord. It has to be an act of service to him. It kind of makes it harder to not get out of bed when you are telling God "No" instead of just being lazy.
Step one down. I will exercise six days a week and I will do if for the Lord. That is settled.
But, I still was not happy about it. Then came this lovely verse from the back of my brain.
Do everything without complaining or arguing. Philippians 2:14
So, within a matter of a week, I have had a heart change. I will exercise for the Lord and I will do it without complaining. Now, I am sure that I will have to remind myself of this often. But, this morning, I set my alarm, got up and worked out. Day one down and I am relying on God to give me the want to and praying that God's strength can replace my excuses step by step.
But, I read it and this is what stuck with me.
I can either be loyal to honoring the Lord with my body or loyal to my cravings, desires, and many excuses for not exercising. -Lysa TerKeurst
Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name together. Psalm 86:11-12
I can't have an undivided heart in this journey. I either want to honor God with my body, or I want to be loyal to my cravings. This solidified in my brain that exercise is part of taking care of God's temple. I have to do it. But, I still didn't want to....so it sat in my brain for a few days.
Then off to church I go. Pastor Zach was preaching on observing the sabbath. "Oh, good", I thought, "I do this, I can sit back and relax." Oh did God have different plans. As he was talking about observing the sabbath, he said that there are two parts to the story. Yes, we must rest one day, but we need to be working the other six. Since our lives are so sedentary, and we aren't using our bodies as God created them to be used, we need to be exercising them.
I had to laugh to myself. Before the sermon I was mulling over in my mind to make a commitment to exercise 4-5 times a week. And then in a way only God can do, he said, NOPE, you need to be doing it 6 days a week! Man, oh, Man!!!!
This still didn't change the fact that I wanted to exercise. I knew that I should, but I still had no desire. So, I asked the Lord to change my view. This is what he gave me.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Psalm 16:3
I have to do this for the Lord. It has to be an act of service to him. It kind of makes it harder to not get out of bed when you are telling God "No" instead of just being lazy.
Step one down. I will exercise six days a week and I will do if for the Lord. That is settled.
But, I still was not happy about it. Then came this lovely verse from the back of my brain.
Do everything without complaining or arguing. Philippians 2:14
So, within a matter of a week, I have had a heart change. I will exercise for the Lord and I will do it without complaining. Now, I am sure that I will have to remind myself of this often. But, this morning, I set my alarm, got up and worked out. Day one down and I am relying on God to give me the want to and praying that God's strength can replace my excuses step by step.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Two Month Update
Today is my two month "surgiversary". I am far enough out now that I am LOVING MY SLEEVE! I can tell that all swelling has gone down. I haven't vomited in over a week(which is a huge accomplishment for me). It is working it's magic. The weight is coming off and so are the inches. I decided to take some pictures this morning. Not sure how much you can actually tell, but documentation has been made. I am down 37 pounds and 27 inches. PRAISE THE LORD!
I just want to give God all the glory in this. I am so glad that he led me to this tool to help me overcome my addiction. It is the best decision I have ever made for myself. I have so much more to learn and so much more to overcome, but God is teaching me everyday. I am changing myself from the inside out. I may have lost weight, but the biggest thing I have gained over the last 2 months is PEACE. Unbelievable peace. Thank you, Lord!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Love one Another
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:7-12
This is another one of those verses that makes me want to say, "Well, duh!". But, just like in the past, it isn't that simple. It is so easy for me to love the ones that I "like". My personality is one that if I don't like you, then I don't want to be around you. I don't want to have to deal with you. I usually make every effort to do just that. Especially if I have been wronged. I don't hold a grudge. I simply wipe you from my world.
So, when I read the verses above I realized that I am blessed that God doesn't react the same way. If he did, I would be wiped from his world. Notice it says that NO ONE loves God, but he loves us! How many times have I wronged God and he still loves me.
Okay, God, I get it. I have it all wrong. I am supposed to love everyone. It doesn't matter if I like them or if they have wronged me. I still have to find a way to love them through it. But, I can't do it on my own. I know that much.
Even as I think about it, there are some people that jump to the forefront of my mind that I am screaming, "NO NOT THAT PERSON!". Honestly, I really don't want to do this. I don't want to let go of my old ways. Isn't that sad? But, I feel like I have a right to feel the way I do. But, when I mediate on the verses above, I know I have no right. Not after the love that has been shown to me. The ultimate love that has been shown on the cross.
So, I will begin this process. If I know me, this isn't not going to be easy. This is going to be a long process. I know that I am going to make a lot of mistakes. But, I am going to let God continue to work in my heart and trust that he can do powerful things in me if I let him. So, here we go....Love one another!
This is another one of those verses that makes me want to say, "Well, duh!". But, just like in the past, it isn't that simple. It is so easy for me to love the ones that I "like". My personality is one that if I don't like you, then I don't want to be around you. I don't want to have to deal with you. I usually make every effort to do just that. Especially if I have been wronged. I don't hold a grudge. I simply wipe you from my world.
So, when I read the verses above I realized that I am blessed that God doesn't react the same way. If he did, I would be wiped from his world. Notice it says that NO ONE loves God, but he loves us! How many times have I wronged God and he still loves me.
Okay, God, I get it. I have it all wrong. I am supposed to love everyone. It doesn't matter if I like them or if they have wronged me. I still have to find a way to love them through it. But, I can't do it on my own. I know that much.
Even as I think about it, there are some people that jump to the forefront of my mind that I am screaming, "NO NOT THAT PERSON!". Honestly, I really don't want to do this. I don't want to let go of my old ways. Isn't that sad? But, I feel like I have a right to feel the way I do. But, when I mediate on the verses above, I know I have no right. Not after the love that has been shown to me. The ultimate love that has been shown on the cross.
So, I will begin this process. If I know me, this isn't not going to be easy. This is going to be a long process. I know that I am going to make a lot of mistakes. But, I am going to let God continue to work in my heart and trust that he can do powerful things in me if I let him. So, here we go....Love one another!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Freedom brings Joy
Today I am filled with overwhelming joy. It is a joy and a freedom that I have never felt. I am feeling freedom from my addiction. Now, that does not mean that my addiction will ever go away. I will always be a food addict and will have to be vigilant to keep it at bay. But, today, I know that the Lord has rescued me from my addiction. I am no longer drawn to the food for comfort and peace. I am drawn to my Lord for these things. I am craving God and not food.
I am reluctant to even claim it, scared that tomorrow I may fail. But, I am claiming the grace of God in that matter and I know that when I do fail, he will be there to pick me back up. He will give me the strength to keep going.
So, today, I am shouting from the rooftops! Today, I want to give all the praise and glory to my Lord that has brought me through to the other side! I will be happy and rejoice in the freedom that has been given to me. That freedom that he had promised me. The Lord is faithful.
I love this verse! Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5
Oh, that is what has happened with me, my friends. I have traveled for these last 2 months with many, many tears and the Lord has brought me joy!! Are you still in the trenches? Are you still sowing in tears? Take courage, my friend, for joy is on its way!
I am reluctant to even claim it, scared that tomorrow I may fail. But, I am claiming the grace of God in that matter and I know that when I do fail, he will be there to pick me back up. He will give me the strength to keep going.
So, today, I am shouting from the rooftops! Today, I want to give all the praise and glory to my Lord that has brought me through to the other side! I will be happy and rejoice in the freedom that has been given to me. That freedom that he had promised me. The Lord is faithful.
I love this verse! Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5
Oh, that is what has happened with me, my friends. I have traveled for these last 2 months with many, many tears and the Lord has brought me joy!! Are you still in the trenches? Are you still sowing in tears? Take courage, my friend, for joy is on its way!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Stand Firm
Two of Paul's favorite words are STAND FIRM. He encourages the early churches to do this time and time again. This is just one example.
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:13
I love this verse because it gives such a powerful approach to my daily life. First of all, I have to be on my guard. I have to watch out for the subtle ways that Satan will try to get me off track. I also have to be on guard about the decisions that I make.
Take yesterday for example. Eleanor and I were in Target(I know that comes as a big surprise!) and she wanted a cinnamon and sugar pretzel. Since she didn't eat much lunch, I decided to treat her. Then, she only took one bite. That left that yummy bread concoction to speak to me. "Eat me. Lick me. Try Me. Don't let me go to waste." Oh my goodness!!! If I hadn't been on my guard, I would have mindlessly gobbled that thing up. But, I was on my game yesterday(thank goodness). BE ON YOUR GUARD!
Then came the decision time. Do I eat it? Just one bite? I haven't had my afternoon snack. Would it hurt this one time? STAND FIRM! No, it is not what my body needs. It is permissible, but not beneficial for my body. So, I prayed and then starting repeating the mantra from Made to Crave. "I am made for more. Made for more than this temporary enjoyment. Made for more than defeat I will feel after I have gone against my eating plan. God made me for more!" So I stood firm and brought it home for my hubby to enjoy.
Now, I know this is a silly and trite example of this verse. But, I have come to realize that there is room for God in every circumstance in our lives. Not just the big decisions, but the little ones. So, I am claiming it for a victory in God that I didn't eat that pretzel. Snicker and laugh if you must.
I personally am empowered that God can walk with us each step and help us through everything we face. I am overjoyed that my God will be there next time I have a decision to make. Even if that next decision is a major, life changing decision. I can take these same principles that he is teaching me and walk through the unknown with him. Doesn't that make you feel safe and loved? It does me!
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:13
I love this verse because it gives such a powerful approach to my daily life. First of all, I have to be on my guard. I have to watch out for the subtle ways that Satan will try to get me off track. I also have to be on guard about the decisions that I make.
Take yesterday for example. Eleanor and I were in Target(I know that comes as a big surprise!) and she wanted a cinnamon and sugar pretzel. Since she didn't eat much lunch, I decided to treat her. Then, she only took one bite. That left that yummy bread concoction to speak to me. "Eat me. Lick me. Try Me. Don't let me go to waste." Oh my goodness!!! If I hadn't been on my guard, I would have mindlessly gobbled that thing up. But, I was on my game yesterday(thank goodness). BE ON YOUR GUARD!
Then came the decision time. Do I eat it? Just one bite? I haven't had my afternoon snack. Would it hurt this one time? STAND FIRM! No, it is not what my body needs. It is permissible, but not beneficial for my body. So, I prayed and then starting repeating the mantra from Made to Crave. "I am made for more. Made for more than this temporary enjoyment. Made for more than defeat I will feel after I have gone against my eating plan. God made me for more!" So I stood firm and brought it home for my hubby to enjoy.
Now, I know this is a silly and trite example of this verse. But, I have come to realize that there is room for God in every circumstance in our lives. Not just the big decisions, but the little ones. So, I am claiming it for a victory in God that I didn't eat that pretzel. Snicker and laugh if you must.
I personally am empowered that God can walk with us each step and help us through everything we face. I am overjoyed that my God will be there next time I have a decision to make. Even if that next decision is a major, life changing decision. I can take these same principles that he is teaching me and walk through the unknown with him. Doesn't that make you feel safe and loved? It does me!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Enemy of the Cross
Have you ever come across a scripture that hurts you so bad that you actually close your bible and walk away from it? Have you every skipped over a scripture because you didn't want to face the truth of what it is saying to you? This scripture sums up what my whole journey is about. Why I am fighting my food addiction with such drastic measures.
For I have often told you before and say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. Philippians 3:19
An ENEMY OF THE CROSS. Did you catch that? I am an enemy of the cross because my stomach is my god. ENEMY OF THE CROSS!!! What did I have to look forward to? Destruction and shame. Y'all get this. I call myself a Christian, but for years I have lived as an enemy of Christ. I used to think that God didn't care about how much I ate or that I loved food to the point of it being all consuming in my life. Oh, but he does! In fact, he cares so much that he sees me as an ENEMY when I let it become my god! This is why I strive daily to conquer my food addiction and to make sure that Christ is my GOD. I need to make sure that nothing is placed before him.
I can't sugar coat this verse and pretend that Paul was talking about some other idol or god that we may have in our lives. He is specifically talking about people who let their stomach master them.
But, one thing gives me strength not to feel defeated. It actually comes in the verses above this one.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3: 12-13
Praise be to Jesus! Even though I haven't conquered it, I can press on and strive for the goal. I can draw my strength from the Lord to know that I may not have it all figured out, but I am working towards that goal. Such amazing news!! It brings me humbled before the cross each day, knowing that I don't deserve even an ounce of grace. Oh, but the grace that he gives!!! Thank you, Jesus, for such an amazing gift!
For I have often told you before and say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. Philippians 3:19
An ENEMY OF THE CROSS. Did you catch that? I am an enemy of the cross because my stomach is my god. ENEMY OF THE CROSS!!! What did I have to look forward to? Destruction and shame. Y'all get this. I call myself a Christian, but for years I have lived as an enemy of Christ. I used to think that God didn't care about how much I ate or that I loved food to the point of it being all consuming in my life. Oh, but he does! In fact, he cares so much that he sees me as an ENEMY when I let it become my god! This is why I strive daily to conquer my food addiction and to make sure that Christ is my GOD. I need to make sure that nothing is placed before him.
I can't sugar coat this verse and pretend that Paul was talking about some other idol or god that we may have in our lives. He is specifically talking about people who let their stomach master them.
But, one thing gives me strength not to feel defeated. It actually comes in the verses above this one.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3: 12-13
Praise be to Jesus! Even though I haven't conquered it, I can press on and strive for the goal. I can draw my strength from the Lord to know that I may not have it all figured out, but I am working towards that goal. Such amazing news!! It brings me humbled before the cross each day, knowing that I don't deserve even an ounce of grace. Oh, but the grace that he gives!!! Thank you, Jesus, for such an amazing gift!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Undeserved Grace
I am a perfectionist. Does this come to a surprise to you? It shouldn't!! I hold myself to a very high standard and beat myself up when I fail my God, myself, or others. Because of this, I am overwhelmed by the endless amounts of grace that God gives me.
The Law of the Old Testament was given to us so that we can strive to be better Christians. The grace of the New Testament was given to us for when we fail at the Law. I am so glad that I am not dependent on whether or not I have done everything right in order to get into heaven!
And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were grace would no longer be grace. Romans 11:6
Praise the Lord at that! I know that having knowledge of the bible and striving to uphold what it says has to be our daily goal. But, I am shouting from the rooftops that WHEN I fail, it is grace that saves me every time.
Do you have that grace? Here is how you receive it.
If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. Romans 10:9-10
If you do have that grace, may today be a reminder what an amazing gift has been given to us. We are going to fail. We are going to make mistakes. But, praise the Lord, we have grace! It is my "job" as a Christian to strive to follow the Law. But, it is God's "job" to supply me with infinite grace when I fall over and over again. My heart overflows with gratitude for such an undeserving gift!
The Law of the Old Testament was given to us so that we can strive to be better Christians. The grace of the New Testament was given to us for when we fail at the Law. I am so glad that I am not dependent on whether or not I have done everything right in order to get into heaven!
And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were grace would no longer be grace. Romans 11:6
Praise the Lord at that! I know that having knowledge of the bible and striving to uphold what it says has to be our daily goal. But, I am shouting from the rooftops that WHEN I fail, it is grace that saves me every time.
Do you have that grace? Here is how you receive it.
If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. Romans 10:9-10
If you do have that grace, may today be a reminder what an amazing gift has been given to us. We are going to fail. We are going to make mistakes. But, praise the Lord, we have grace! It is my "job" as a Christian to strive to follow the Law. But, it is God's "job" to supply me with infinite grace when I fall over and over again. My heart overflows with gratitude for such an undeserving gift!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Driven to Humility
I am not a music person, so I am not up to date on all the newest and brightest christian singers. I mean, I didn't even know who Chris Tomlin was until I asked our worship pastor and he politely told me that half the songs we sing are written by him! It was a shameful day, to say the least! :)
But, there was a group called Watermark that I fell in love with during college. They have since disbanded, but I still listen to their CDs when I get control of the car radio. There is a song that is entitled Driven to Humility that I crank up and sing to like it was 1999.
I was listening to it last night and let me tell you. These lyrics are my prayer to God. They are my heart's desire. I tried to find it on You Tube so you could jam along to it, but it is not cool enough to have been put on there! So, I pray that maybe the words will be enough to convey what my heart's prayer is.
Oh, and if you ever want to borrow the CD or come rock out with me, just let me know!
Driven to Humility
Oh wait, I found a link to listen to it. http://new.music.yahoo.com/watermark/tracks/driven-to-humility--173460156 Enjoy!!
But, there was a group called Watermark that I fell in love with during college. They have since disbanded, but I still listen to their CDs when I get control of the car radio. There is a song that is entitled Driven to Humility that I crank up and sing to like it was 1999.
I was listening to it last night and let me tell you. These lyrics are my prayer to God. They are my heart's desire. I tried to find it on You Tube so you could jam along to it, but it is not cool enough to have been put on there! So, I pray that maybe the words will be enough to convey what my heart's prayer is.
Oh, and if you ever want to borrow the CD or come rock out with me, just let me know!
Driven to Humility
I have been chosen to be driven to humility To be wholly refined in Your Holy blaze of fire And even when I'm sturdy, I pray You'll keep my knees dirty May the heart of Your will be my only heart's desire One thousand miles of road not taken Sure I tremble, yet my faith will not be shaken You're teaching me, You're in control Sure the waves could knock me down but I say let 'em roll I don't mean to boast about my tomorrows But I'm resting in the man who knows my pain and all my sorrows Well, Your kindness brought repentance For the years of foolish pride Sometimes You've got to knock me down Just so I can see the light I have been chosen to be driven to humility To be wholly refined in Your Holy blaze of fire And even when I'm sturdy, I pray You'll keep my knees dirty May the heart of Your will be my only heart's desire |
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Idolatry
I just want to start off saying, THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU GOD!!! He has been faithful and my body has moved past 275. I am @ 272 now. He took my fear and my unbelief and showed me that he will help me succeed! What a wonderful lesson learned!!
Now on to Idolatry. It is one of those words like "gluttony" that sounds so bad that we don't think we have a problem with it. But, when you look at it closely, you are horrified that it is a problem for all of us. See if this definition scared you as much as it did me. Idolatry: blind or excessive devotion of something other than God.
I jumped back from that one. Recoiled on every account!! YIKES! There goes another ten commandment broken(I think I am 3 for 10 now)!
Not only am I guilty of idolatry, I didn't even realize it until I asked the Lord to make it known to me. As you all know, my idol is food. Do you have one? Is it your child, or your spouse, your football team, your exercise routine, or your computer? Or could it be something else?
In 1 Corinthians 10, Paul warns us to hold the Israelites as examples. Even though they were given it all by God, he was not pleased with them.
Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry." We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did-and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. We should not test the Lord, as some of them did-and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did-and were killed by the destroying angel. These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages to come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you do not fall! 1 Corinthians 10:6-12.
I have been reminded a lot lately that we should FEAR THE LORD. It says it a lot in the bible. God is a jealous God and he will not stand for anything to be put before him. This has moved me into action. I can't sit and pretend that God doesn't really care about my addiction. I see that my relationship with him will always be strained and hindered if I am allowing my idol to take first place. I am not going to test God and see if he will eventually take action against my disregard for his commands. I am going to make every effort to place God first and ask that I will be able to see clearly if or when something starts to take first place in my life.
Now on to Idolatry. It is one of those words like "gluttony" that sounds so bad that we don't think we have a problem with it. But, when you look at it closely, you are horrified that it is a problem for all of us. See if this definition scared you as much as it did me. Idolatry: blind or excessive devotion of something other than God.
I jumped back from that one. Recoiled on every account!! YIKES! There goes another ten commandment broken(I think I am 3 for 10 now)!
Not only am I guilty of idolatry, I didn't even realize it until I asked the Lord to make it known to me. As you all know, my idol is food. Do you have one? Is it your child, or your spouse, your football team, your exercise routine, or your computer? Or could it be something else?
In 1 Corinthians 10, Paul warns us to hold the Israelites as examples. Even though they were given it all by God, he was not pleased with them.
Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry." We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did-and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. We should not test the Lord, as some of them did-and were killed by snakes. And do not grumble, as some of them did-and were killed by the destroying angel. These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages to come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you do not fall! 1 Corinthians 10:6-12.
I have been reminded a lot lately that we should FEAR THE LORD. It says it a lot in the bible. God is a jealous God and he will not stand for anything to be put before him. This has moved me into action. I can't sit and pretend that God doesn't really care about my addiction. I see that my relationship with him will always be strained and hindered if I am allowing my idol to take first place. I am not going to test God and see if he will eventually take action against my disregard for his commands. I am going to make every effort to place God first and ask that I will be able to see clearly if or when something starts to take first place in my life.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The Amazing Race
I have compared this journey that I am on to a race many times. It is a visual that makes sense to me. I am in a marathon to lose this weight, not a sprint. I love how Paul also uses the visual of a race to remind us that our lives are to be lived this way.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
I love two things about this passage. First, that he talks about going into strict training. He reminds us that this journey we are on shouldn't be run aimlessly. We need to go all out. We need to train and then run like the person wanting to come in first place. Imagine two different people in the marathon. The one that wants to win it and the one that just wants to finish it. I have always looked at it, as just finish the race. NO! I need to give it everything I have. I need to do the very best I can on this journey. Both in weight loss and in life. If I know I can give it more, then I should. I can not be satisfied with mediocre.
The second thing that I love about this passage is that I need to beat my body and make it a slave. I have to MAKE myself do the things that I know I should. It is not going to come easy to do the things that are going to be honoring to the Lord. My sinful tendencies are going to fight me every step of the way. But, with the Lord's strength, I can conquer those things step by step. I just have to keep running. Running with everything I have. Running like I want to cross that finish line FIRST!
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3
Lord, help me run this race with everything I have. Give me the strength to keep on going even when I can't see the finish line. Give me the knowledge that is needed to make my body and soul a slave to you. Grant me grace when I fall and help me to get back up. But more than anything, just help me to get my feet moving in the right direction with each new day. May you be glorified in my race. You alone are the prize worthy of attaining.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
I love two things about this passage. First, that he talks about going into strict training. He reminds us that this journey we are on shouldn't be run aimlessly. We need to go all out. We need to train and then run like the person wanting to come in first place. Imagine two different people in the marathon. The one that wants to win it and the one that just wants to finish it. I have always looked at it, as just finish the race. NO! I need to give it everything I have. I need to do the very best I can on this journey. Both in weight loss and in life. If I know I can give it more, then I should. I can not be satisfied with mediocre.
The second thing that I love about this passage is that I need to beat my body and make it a slave. I have to MAKE myself do the things that I know I should. It is not going to come easy to do the things that are going to be honoring to the Lord. My sinful tendencies are going to fight me every step of the way. But, with the Lord's strength, I can conquer those things step by step. I just have to keep running. Running with everything I have. Running like I want to cross that finish line FIRST!
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3
Lord, help me run this race with everything I have. Give me the strength to keep on going even when I can't see the finish line. Give me the knowledge that is needed to make my body and soul a slave to you. Grant me grace when I fall and help me to get back up. But more than anything, just help me to get my feet moving in the right direction with each new day. May you be glorified in my race. You alone are the prize worthy of attaining.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Mastered by nothing
Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, but God will destroy them both. 1 Corinthians 12-13
Mastered: To be controlled by, to be conquered, to be defeated by, to be a slave to something or someone. This is not how I want my life to be lived. I do not want to be mastered by food. I don't want to live my life in a cycle of defeat.
I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I see the world in black and white. It is right or wrong. There are rules to be followed. I do best with strict rules and lines in the sand that I dare not cross. But, I am striving to learn moderation. I am trying to learn to live in the middle ground. I am not comfortable here. I am either on a strict diet or I am on a binge. How do I live in a world where everything is permissible when it comes to food, but not everything is beneficial. How do I learn to differentiate when it is okay for me to have things and when I should say no and walk away.
Bryan and I had a talk yesterday about my banishment of carbs from my world. He wants more than anything for me to learn that it is all okay in moderation. I agree, but I don't know how to live in that world.
I have been on a diet since I was in 7th grade. On a diet since I was 12 years old. That is 22 years of rules and regulations. Do's and Don'ts. Eat this, don't eat that. Moderation is not something I understand.
I see now that it isn't about what I eat as much as letting food master me. I realize that I can be mastered by food whether I am eating right or wrong. Food has complete control of my mind. When I am dieting, I am consumed by the rules of the diet. When I am binging, I am consumed by the food itself. Neither one is pleasing to the Lord.
I am aware of this cycle now. I just don't know how to break it. I am so glad that I have a Lord that is willing to step in and help. All I have to do is pray for wisdom to understand the situation and the strength to break the chains of the thing that masters me. I don't want my mind to be filled with thoughts of food but with thoughts of God. Maybe this is what I strive for in the coming days. When my mind turns to food, then I need to turn it back to God. I need to pray, read, sing and talk about my Lord when I feel the pull of the chains trying to pull me back into my slavery.
Mastered: To be controlled by, to be conquered, to be defeated by, to be a slave to something or someone. This is not how I want my life to be lived. I do not want to be mastered by food. I don't want to live my life in a cycle of defeat.
I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I see the world in black and white. It is right or wrong. There are rules to be followed. I do best with strict rules and lines in the sand that I dare not cross. But, I am striving to learn moderation. I am trying to learn to live in the middle ground. I am not comfortable here. I am either on a strict diet or I am on a binge. How do I live in a world where everything is permissible when it comes to food, but not everything is beneficial. How do I learn to differentiate when it is okay for me to have things and when I should say no and walk away.
Bryan and I had a talk yesterday about my banishment of carbs from my world. He wants more than anything for me to learn that it is all okay in moderation. I agree, but I don't know how to live in that world.
I have been on a diet since I was in 7th grade. On a diet since I was 12 years old. That is 22 years of rules and regulations. Do's and Don'ts. Eat this, don't eat that. Moderation is not something I understand.
I see now that it isn't about what I eat as much as letting food master me. I realize that I can be mastered by food whether I am eating right or wrong. Food has complete control of my mind. When I am dieting, I am consumed by the rules of the diet. When I am binging, I am consumed by the food itself. Neither one is pleasing to the Lord.
I am aware of this cycle now. I just don't know how to break it. I am so glad that I have a Lord that is willing to step in and help. All I have to do is pray for wisdom to understand the situation and the strength to break the chains of the thing that masters me. I don't want my mind to be filled with thoughts of food but with thoughts of God. Maybe this is what I strive for in the coming days. When my mind turns to food, then I need to turn it back to God. I need to pray, read, sing and talk about my Lord when I feel the pull of the chains trying to pull me back into my slavery.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Yep, I'm Stuck
The scale didn't budge this week and my fear has been realized. Stuck @ 275 yet again. I am stressed about it, but I am taking ownership of it. I have been eating too many carbs this week. I knew that I shouldn't have been doing it. My PCOS makes carbs even more of an enemy.
I had already told some friends last night that I needed to change it and it was confirmed this morning on the scale. It is the thing that I know I need to fix.
Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. Proverbs 16:20
I will follow my nutritionists instructions this week. Goodbye bread, chips, and crackers. :(
I had already told some friends last night that I needed to change it and it was confirmed this morning on the scale. It is the thing that I know I need to fix.
Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. Proverbs 16:20
I will follow my nutritionists instructions this week. Goodbye bread, chips, and crackers. :(
Friday, July 1, 2011
A Special Visitor
What if Jesus were coming to your house for a visit? What would you do to prepare for him? I know that I would clean my house like it has never been cleaned before. The baseboards would be scrubbed and the windows would be cleaned. I would go to great lengths to make sure that everything was perfect. I would want him to know that I was being a good steward with what he had blessed me with.
Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple. 1 Corinthians 3:16
Not only is God coming for a visit, he is coming to live with you. To dwell with you. This verse scares me. Do not overlook the wrath of God. He isn't always the loving Father that is going to wrap us up in his arms and love us. Sometimes, he is the Father that must discipline and cause us pain.
My body IS GOD'S DWELLING PLACE. I must treat this body like the temple it is. I need to make sure no trash is placed in the place that my God is living. I need to make sure that this temple is physically fit and acceptable to the most high God.
This isn't something that we can just push away and say "but God loves me just the way I am". He does, but that is NO EXCUSE!! HE IS OUR MASTER AND OUR SAVIOR! In what way will we honor him with the temple he has given us? Will we continue to consume junk and be lazy or will we change our ways.
I am not on this journey for myself. I am on this journey to worship my Lord by getting my temple in order. I wouldn't wish for Buddha to even enter my temple the way it is and I have no regard for him. I wouldn't even want my worst enemy to step foot inside.
But, the sad truth is this is what I have given my Lord. This is where he dwells and it breaks my heart that I have let it go on for so long. It is this realization that has brought me to the point of no return. I will not let my temple fall to ruins. I am going about the business of cleaning it up and repairing the damage.
Oh, how I pray that you will see the ugly truth of what we are doing. The ugly truth of the filth that we are offering to our Lord. The despicable way that we treat our guest. Does it break your heart like it does mine? This is not a matter of what size we fit into or how much a scales says we weigh. This is a matter of honoring our Lord. May the Lord, one day, feel like the honored guest he his in this temple of mine.
Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple. 1 Corinthians 3:16
Not only is God coming for a visit, he is coming to live with you. To dwell with you. This verse scares me. Do not overlook the wrath of God. He isn't always the loving Father that is going to wrap us up in his arms and love us. Sometimes, he is the Father that must discipline and cause us pain.
My body IS GOD'S DWELLING PLACE. I must treat this body like the temple it is. I need to make sure no trash is placed in the place that my God is living. I need to make sure that this temple is physically fit and acceptable to the most high God.
This isn't something that we can just push away and say "but God loves me just the way I am". He does, but that is NO EXCUSE!! HE IS OUR MASTER AND OUR SAVIOR! In what way will we honor him with the temple he has given us? Will we continue to consume junk and be lazy or will we change our ways.
I am not on this journey for myself. I am on this journey to worship my Lord by getting my temple in order. I wouldn't wish for Buddha to even enter my temple the way it is and I have no regard for him. I wouldn't even want my worst enemy to step foot inside.
But, the sad truth is this is what I have given my Lord. This is where he dwells and it breaks my heart that I have let it go on for so long. It is this realization that has brought me to the point of no return. I will not let my temple fall to ruins. I am going about the business of cleaning it up and repairing the damage.
Oh, how I pray that you will see the ugly truth of what we are doing. The ugly truth of the filth that we are offering to our Lord. The despicable way that we treat our guest. Does it break your heart like it does mine? This is not a matter of what size we fit into or how much a scales says we weigh. This is a matter of honoring our Lord. May the Lord, one day, feel like the honored guest he his in this temple of mine.
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