Reaping and Sowing

Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked.  A man reaps what he sows.  The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction.  The one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.  Let  us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Galatians 6:7-9
I have been on both sides of this verse.  I was sowing to please my sinful nature and I was reaping the destruction.  The destruction of my body and of my family.  There were doctor's warnings of dangerous levels of triglycerides and the defeat of not being able to get pregnant.  There were intimacy problems created because my weight was causing my back to hurt so much, that I slept on the couch every night to find comfort.  Therefore, leaving my marital bed empty because of my sin.  There was the lack of interest in taking care of both Eleanor and my home.  I am still reaping the effects of the destruction.  And, at times I don't see the end of those consequences in sight.
But, there is always hope.  The flip side of this verse tells me so.  If I am sowing to please the Spirit, IN THE PROPER TIME, I will reap a harvest of blessings.  I just can't give up!  I have to keep owning the destruction that I have caused and continue on in the hope of the coming harvest. 
In a world of immediate gratification, this is a hard thing to do.  I want to be healthy, enterjectic, and pregnant right now!  Oh, but God's way is different.  He want to keep me in this learning pattern until he has taught me all that I need, and then a harvest of blessing will be made know.  And guess what, it may not be the blessings that I think I deserve.  I may never be pregnant again.  But, if I remain in him, the peace of that decision will be overwhelming.  Just as now, the peace of only having one child fills me to my core.
Am I doing this for the blessings?  NO!  I am so glad that through this journey, my eyes have been taken off the external happenings of my body and are constantly being placed back on the internal changes of my heart.  As thrilled as I am on the progress I am making in losing weight and getting healthy, the peace and joy of my new found walk with the Lord is far better and more satisfying.
And here is another thing.  Each one should test his own actions.  Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.  Galatians 6:4
I don't have to worry about what God is doing in anyone else's life.  I just have to focus on myself and the things that God is doing in my life.  I don't have to "keep up" with someone else.  I don't have to follow the path of anyone else.  God only cares about what I am doing to live for him.  What a relief that is!  For with blessings also comes struggles.  I may not reap a blessing that someone else is given.  But, I also should be thankful that I don't have the struggles that someone else has.  In other words, I need to worry about myself and my relationship with God and keep my eyes off what he is doing for someone else!