Missing My Friend

So here is the deal this morning.  I MISS FOOD.  I miss the satisfaction of eating a meal.  I miss the comfort that comes from sitting down with a plate of food.  I miss the ease of which I used to eat food.  I miss my friend. 
Now food is something that is forced.  It is something that I have to make myself do.  It is not enjoyable.  My whole existence is based around getting protein into my body.  Protein sucks!  I miss my carbs. 
I know that my wish when I entered into this  journey was to eat to live instead of live to eat.  I just didn't realize what it would be like when all the emotional strings to food were cut.  I am sitting here typing this with tears running down my face.  Isn't it sad that food can do this to me?  This is what addiction looks like.  It is ugly.  It rears it head just when you think you have it tamed and under control.  My friend is begging to be let back into my world.  Just for a visit.  But I know that is a lie.  Addictions don't come back for a visit, they come back to stay.
There are ways to my addiction even though I have had surgery.  Ways to eat the food I love, ways to cheat the surgery.  But, I can't let myself go there.  Lord, help me be strong.
And to be honest, I have no words of wisdom.  I could not find anything in the bible this morning to help me.  So maybe this is where you, my friends, come in.  Maybe the Lord is going to use one of you today.